If it's my life, why am I doing what you want?

Can you remember back to when you were very young, and you had a strong feeling of what you liked, and disliked, and what you wanted? And do you remember what has happened since then? Somehow you've lost that clear feeling of your identity, you've accepted the thousands of inputs from family and friends, the media, and just human consciousness in general, all telling you that who you naturally are is just not good enough. So, you've given up on being yourself, and you are trying to be what you believe you should be. To some extent, you even believe that all these ideals which you have taken on, are yours. So you struggle on, feeling at odds with yourself, trying to do what you should do, and not even realizing that most of this is not what you really want at all.

What if you could clear away all that baggage, and simply function as your true self? Imagine just knowing what you want and going for it, without having to expend tremendous amounts of energy on doubting yourself, looking for confirmation from outside of yourself, feeling worried about what other people will say? How simple would life be then! How many of your dreams would you accomplish? Can you imagine the feeling?

Is this all a bit scary? Well, you don't have to do it all at once, in fact it's not even possible to do it instantaneously. Becoming your true self is a lifetime's work, and a very exciting and liberating journey. Are you willing to take your first step?

Life is so exciting...

When I am expressing myself, doing what I choose to do, my life is great! It is exciting, rewarding. I get out of bed quickly in the morning on days like this, with so many ideas of what I want to do. I am full of confidence and energy... and the more I express, the more energy flows through me, until I am so full of it that I must keep active, or burst! What a feeling! Wow!

How to fail...

There is no failure, for this life is a life of experience, and any achievement which we make along the way is part of that experience, but not the goal of it. The true achievement is in the experiencing. You cannot take your achievements with you when you pass from this life, but your experiences will be your great treasure. So, take a deep breath, feel your feelings, feel the wind or the sun on your face, for these are all part of your experience here on earth. Nothing is too small to be of value, nothing...

Why it is good to feel like crap at times...

Feeling like crap? Celebrate this, for it is your opportunity to create something new in your life!
What, you don't feel like you can create anything? Well guess what? It is this resignation which got you into this unpleasantness to begin with! So, what will you do now? Will you continue to allow life to do things to you, or will you grab hold of the steering wheel and chart your own course? It is always up to you!

When you have done all you can, and it's still not enough...

When you have done all you can, and it is still not enough, what more can you do? When it is obvious that you have not reached your goal, that there are shortfalls to be made up, and yet you can do no more, it is time to stop doing. Your entire being is telling you that you have done enough, that it is time to take a rest and allow nature to take it's course. Is this scary? Of course it is, if you have been trained to expect the worst. Do you understand? This is a matter of how your mind has been trained. If you had lived a life in which you were nurtured and sustained, you would now be expecting help to arrive. Instead, here you are, expecting punishment and disaster. Silly you! You really should understand this by now! And of course, you are beginning to understand, simply because you have no other option (and also because you are willing to). So go and rest, and all will be well in the morning.

Stop trying to be perfect!

Note to self from Self: you can never be perfect! Stop trying. Stop wearing yourself out with it. Know that you are already good enough, and that you have jewels of wisdom and beauty to share, which are not tainted by your "deficiencies". Don't you see that little human failings are only a byproduct of human living? These little human failings are the equivalent of laughter lines on your face, simply a reminder of what has been. They do not define you! So stop now, stop belittling yourself, and start to express your true value, your true wisdom, and your beauty, for in this expression you will grow beyond what you have been, and into your true potential. Do you see yet what this means? This is true liberation for your soul! Take to your wings, fly, soar, do cartwheels in the sky! Paint the sky with your colours! Be daring, be bold, but do not be perfect, for there is no use for perfection in this world, or the one to which you will one day move on.

I love myself a little more each day

What is self love? In it's truest form, it is total and complete acceptance, trust, and an ongoing journey of exploration. It is a growing knowingness that you deserve, simply because you are. Is this hard to comprehend? It may be, if you are looking at yourself from a purely human standpoint, feeling that you need to exchange a lot of life energy in order to be worthy of the things you desire. However, try to see it from a broader perspective, perhaps from the perspective of your soul, which has been around for many lifetimes, and will continue on long after your current identity has passed on to the world of spirit. Your soul knows that you are on the Earth to experience, to learn on it's behalf so many things. It is through your experience that your soul, and eventually the entire cosmos, is enriched. You have forgotten that, and you believe with your mind that you are just a human, scrambling for survival. It is time to wake up, to see the full beauty and glory of human life here on earth. Take a deep breath, and feel for yourself the truth of this. Ahhhhh. Now you are beginning to remember, even as your mind may be disparaging the information. Your body knows, your heart knows, and when you breathe deeply, you allow your mind to disengage for a moment, to allow the knowing in other ways. The conscious breath connects you with the unknown.

The joy of life

Life is meant to be enjoyed. This may be hard to believe, but if you have trouble with the concept, ask yourself "Why?". Your first answer may be, that you can see from your experience that enjoyment is hard to come by, and often comes at the expense of other things. Dig deeper... and now you come upon the layer of expectations - those placed upon you by others, and by yourself, which are in direct conflict with your natural desire and direction. Can you see these things, and how they affect you? Are you still following the programming which you have received? Ask yourself now, "Why?". Your answer may be, that you never thought to do otherwise. It may be that you thought about it, but your inbuilt feelings of duty and obligation and guilt rose to the surface, and quickly herded you back to where you "belong". Is any of this sounding familiar? Now you can see the mechanisms in your mind which have kept joy to a minimum in your life. Do you want to do something about it? And most of all, do you have fear which stops you? Now we are getting to the real heart of the issue, and it is this: you want to be loved, approved of and accepted by others, and you will give away huge parts of yourself and your potential in order to receive this love, approval or acceptance, however fleetingly. Now we come to the point of choice and the point of balance in all this, which is self-love. Can you even read the words "self love" without wanting to withdraw, to distance yourself from the concept, to make sure that no one thinks you are even comtemplating such a thing? You can run back to the security of your duties and obligations right now, or you can choose to begin the journey towards self-love and wholeness, which will bring you increasing amounts of joy. Which do you choose?

Time for a new beginning...

This blog has it's roots in my website, The New Energy Journey. I have so many trains of thought, and I want to be able to put them together coherently... it's too much for a website.

My new energy journey began consciously in May 2000, when I connected with the Crimson Circle. My history up to that point included self-liberation from the shackles of fundamentalist Christianity, and a journey through many aspects of the new-age movement. At each step I felt that I was heading in the right direction, but at no time did I feel that I had reached my destination. When I read my first article channeled by Geoffrey Hoppe from the entity Tobias, I knew that I had come home.

The journey since then has been one of true self-discovery, of learning trust in Self, letting go of victimhood, knowing more and more clearly that I AM the Creator of my life. This work, this process, has pushed me to the edge of my endurance more than once, but there is a rightness about it which keeps me going.

Now, as I take my eyes off my own journey, I find that we are on the verge of 2012, and the world is changing before our eyes. The veil between this world and other realities is thinning. Our planet is requiring our conscious participation in her care, and we are taking up the challenge. Women are being empowered as more of the feminine energy is allowed and expressed by males and females. New leaders are being chosen, and they are finding new solutions to old problems. This experience is the culmination of hundreds of thousands of years of human experience and history. We have collectively been through it all. What will we choose to create for ourselves now?